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Should you express compassion when a mother says…?:

I just found out I’m pregnant, and this wasn’t planned.”
No, children are a blessing and gift from the Lord. (Psalm 127:3-5). Avoid saying things like, “I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t afford another child.”
Yes, but only in the direction of the difficulties of her financial woes that occurred despite well-meaning attempts to work and avoid materialism and vanity.

While it is good to express compassion for this mother’s job loss, be careful about expressing compassion about her body not being able to “handle” hormonal birth control or IUDs. This mother is fornicating, which is an abomination before God, and planning the possible murder of her fourth child. No sympathy is due there.

My baby has Down’s or Trisomy.”
Yes. The baby is a gift, but the Down’s or Trisomy is a result of the curse of sin upon the earth. The Down’s or Trisomy is not a “gift” as some mistaken Christians like to say (though it may be used by God for many good things).

“I don’t like abortion, but my circumstances just sadly give me no other option.”
No. Don’t be tempted to say here, “I’m so sorry. I know you don’t want to do this…” or something similar that might soothe her in her sin.

Express compassion for this mother going through the nightmare of a cheating husband, but do not express compassion for her decision to take out her anger on the innocent child they created together.

“I have really bad morning sickness so I have no choice but to terminate.”
Pour on the sympathy toward her morning sickness, but avoid saying, “Oh, you poor thing. Everyone will understand…” toward her self-centeredness in favoring her well-being over the LIFE of her child. Murder should never be an option, even when Mommy feels really bad. Instead, HELP the mother in very practical ways to get through her pregnancy day-by-day. Morning sickness can be absolutely debilitating.

“I’m aborting because my parents will kick me out if they find out I’m pregnant.”
Yes… but toward her sinful parents only. “I’m so sorry that your parents do not love their grand baby and welcome him/her. They are right to be angry about your fornication and to discipline you for such, but they are not right to be angry about their grand child or to discontinue providing shelter for you.”

This fornicating mother is crying, which makes it tempting to feel sorry for her; however, WHY is she crying? She’s crying because she has to wait to attack her poor baby to death via vacuum so the abortionist can use ultrasound to guide his killing instruments toward the baby’s body. No compassion is due here. This mother and her boyfriend decided this is what’s best for them and the baby, but it is never “best” for a baby to wind up in a medical waste freezer. The only thing one could Biblically express compassion for here is for the mother’s breast pain and cramps.

I aborted.”
No. Avoid saying, “I’m so sorry you lost your baby” IF she’s non-repentant. She did not passively ‘lose’ her baby.

I aborted” (but she’s repentant).
Yes. “I’m so sorry about what happened to your sweet baby. The consequences of our sin sure do bring such sadness in their wake sometimes. Here is a wonderful tract to read about how to find forgiveness with God. Did you ever name your baby?”


“a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering”

This mother is also crying, but for the wrong reasons. She’s crying because God has given her and her husband the gift of children in their marriage, but they don’t want children — likely for self-centered reasons. This mother desires barrenness, which is never referenced as a blessing in the Scriptures. She seems to be experiencing appropriate, God-given shame for doing what’s wrong: killing her second child in four months. One can be kind and gentle while engaging with this mother and teaching her that bearing children is one of the God-given expectations of marriage, and that murdering their children should never be an option.

This mother is upset and planning her abortion because she is an athlete and doesn’t want to get “fat” in pregnancy. No compassion is due there.

“The heart of the righteous weighs its answers.” — Prov. 15:28

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